a letter on this Tuesday

my neena,

it's been a whole month without you already.

i miss you as much as i did the day we lost you.

i hope you are in heaven with Teddy,

and you understand how much i love the both of you.

i'm sure you are told *our*story* whenever you

need to hear it. i remind myself of it often.

the *babies* are doing fine, as you probably already noticed.

they are so different than you were, but i am

so grateful to be blessed with them, for they make

me think of you fondly, and make the loss of you,

my first baby girl,

less harsh on my heart.

i wish you warm sunny days,

lazy naps on grassy green fields,

and

liver and whole milk for breakfast

up in heaven.

***

thank you for loving me.

thank you for teaching me how to care for someone unconditionally.

thank you for giving me responsibility.

thank you for the laughs.

thank you for being the first thing in sight every morning of high school.

thank you for being my cat.

***

one day, i'll be able to hold you again.

***

i miss you

and

love you

always.

***

love,

your mommy