Monday, May 17, 2010

the *boyf*, my *bitt*, & *biking*

on a whim, in the late
of yesterday,
the boyf, the bitt, & I
rode our bikes to T.C.B.Y
half way through the ride, I realized I forgot the camera at home,
so I created this to compensate:
[pic found here, us three picniked in]
me in the front, bitt in the middle, the boyf in the back
["a pretty accurate depiction," says my bitt]
i just wanted to say HERE,
that i loved loved
our bike ride yesterday night.
some pretty hilarious conversations
and occurrences took place on the ride.
for example:
at one point,
we came to a clearing in the forested trail,
filled with softball fields.
I noticed the garbage cans were full to the max,
but at 8 pm, when we were riding,
of course no one was there.
desolate, abandoned fields.
turned to
bitt & Tome [what my sister calls Tomas]
and said,
"These fields were filled with laughter and activity only a few hours ago."
my bitt,
without skipping a beat,
"thanks for the narration, Morgan Freeman."
another example:
i was the leader for most of the ride,
but at one point, Tomas was leading,
I was next, and bitt - last.
I see...
...I actually witness...
my boyfriend pick his ass
off the seat,
and rip the loudest fart I've ever heard.
the boyf's
are like sticky rice.
they stick to the molecules in the air
like nothing i've ever smelled before.
in 2 seconds flat,
my bitt & me were like,
stink bomb city.
the boyf's ass is lethal.
this question was also posed during our ride:
"What if vampires were real, and it was, like, risky to go out at night and bike ride through a forested trail to get frozen yogurt??
We'd have to carry wooden steaks in our pockets like Buffy did in case we were attacked.
Would we be, like, trained from a young age how to fend off vampires?
Maybe, like bug spray, they'd make vampire-spray,
and it'd smell like garlic, and you'd have to get extra strength for those really vicious vampires."
[haa haa!]
five minutes from home,
in the dark of nighttime,
my bitt looks up ahead at
Tomas's silhouette and says,
"he looks like E.T., all hunched over...
... did E.T.'s theme song go?"
looking perplexed,
couldn't tell her.
the jurrasic park
was what was coming to mind.
he said the same exact thing.
we got home,
put the bikes away,
the boyf left
[of course after ripping some more killer ass gas & leaving the invisible smell lingering in the kitchen...sticky rice, I tell ya]
I went upstairs.
got on my computer,
YouTubed it,


  1. if this isnt thee most funny post I have read in a long time! Im crackin up here at work! I think all boyf's and husb's produce sticky rice! hahaha, i've missed your posts, so glad im back in action!

  2. I guess it should be stiNky rice...Bwaaahaahaa!


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