outfit for *kindergarten*

it's been grey.

gloomy.

rainy.

sad. cold.

last week was the week after she left us,

after we had to put her to sleep.

***

it's amazing, though, the signs God lets you

see on those grey, dull, ordinary nothing mornings

to let you know she's okay:

i miss her so much. last week i cried every day.
cats are everywhere around this school i've been subbing in.
weird coincidence?
i lost my cat of 18 years,
subbed in the kindergarten from hell [they were cute, though],
caught a cold that ruined my W-Th-F...
...let me tell you,
a happy-print dress was in order.
***
this is outside the school,
on my lunch break.
this was first sun i saw all week.
i wrote her a letter.

***

i feel much better this week, physically and emotionally.

hopefully that all doesn't go to shit after i waitress 'til late tonight, sub early tomorrow morn, waitress 'til late tomorrow night, sub early Wednesday morn, and waitress 'til late Wednesday night...

...i might have to give that fuckin' restaurant my two weeks notice, before i burnout.

oh yeah, and bullshit research-writing-thesis paper homework due Thurs.

don't know when i'll get to it.

somebody help me.